I'm saddened over the death of my close friend's younger brother. Life is so unpredictable. He was a such a young chap...with good brains and bright future. I don't understand why...I wept when I received her SMS, informing me of her brother's death. I just couldn't understand why...why this tradegy fell upon her family. Her father had just underwent an operation and was unware of his most doted son was in the mortuary; in the same hospital. Thinking of this, I felt terribly sad. You just wouldn't know in every seconds of our life, there are people out there who are grieving over the lost...crying over their loved ones. The only thing I could do at this moment is to reach out to them...my care and concern and most importantly, God's Word.

I had very much wanted to take a break. It had been 6 years. I started my career first as an quality executive. After two years, I asked to transfer to another department as a web designer. I had always wanted to pursue my interest in this area and finally, I got it. I have learnt a lot from my workplace. I have gained much knowledge on IT. As time slips by, I realise the job is no longer challenging. Frankly, I'm quite disappointed. I can't really express my disappointment...just that some policies are driving me mad...I'm feeling restricted...There is no exposure and I can't prove my talent. I NEED A BREAK!!!

I'm trying to convince myself Grandma is gone. At times, I would think of her. I couldn't understand her sufferings...her pain, her thoughts of death. Did she resign to fate? She was a devout buddhist. Life is so unpredictable. She was such a kind person. Yet, she had to undergo a painful death. To my surprise, I did not shed a tear at her wake...except when witnessing her cremation. Frankly, I nearly went bonkers while the monks were chanting...I prayed silently for protection and forgiveness. I sang along with my favourite worship song. Anyway, it was over. She lives in our heart always.

I had sleepless nights for the past few days. I could fall asleep only when dawn was drawing near, probably around 4-5am. I felt terribly hot though I switched on the air-con...The weather was so warm and humid and I just kept tossing and turning in bed...frankly, I thought of my grandmother. I visited her last night. She was dying. I felt a little of discomfort...the buddhist chantings. However, I had to respect the individuals. She was suffering...at her terminal stage of liver cancer. My maternal grandmother also died of cancer. It will be a painful death.